#12 – Finding Your Why, with Sterling Mark

Finding Your Why, with Sterling Mark

AVID Alumni
23 min

Transcript

The following transcript was automatically generated from the podcast audio by generative artificial intelligence.  Because of the automated nature of the process, this transcript may include unintended transcription and mechanical errors.

Sterling Mark 0:00 Be patient, but stay curious. Your why doesn’t always show up overnight, and that’s okay. Take time to explore different paths. Be sure to ask questions and reflect on what brings you joy and fulfillment. Don’t be pressured to have it all figured out right away. Your purpose will unfold as you continue to grow. So just understand that success is not a destination. It’s a journey.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 0:29 Welcome to Avidly Adulting, the podcast where we tackle the wild ride of transitioning into your first career and all of the life lessons in between and beyond when life and career merge into adulting.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 0:46 Welcome to Avidly Adulting. I’m Dr. Aliber Lozano, lead for Alumni Services here at AVID Center. Today, we’re asking that age-old question: why? We know when we were younger, in elementary and even at home, we kept on asking why. Somehow, along the way, we got programmed no longer to ask why. But we’re about to change that. We’re finding our why.

Joining me today to talk about this topic is Sterling Mark. He is an AVID alumni and chief empowerment officer for Sterling Empowerment. Sterling, welcome.

Sterling Mark 1:22 Thank you. Thank you so much for having me.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 1:25 Of course. Now we’ve gotten to know each other a little bit in our interchange as an AVID alumni, but let’s have our subscribers learn a little bit about yourself. Tell us about your AVID alumni journey and some of the EOD tours that you took as an alumni.

Sterling Mark 1:42 Yeah, sure. My AVID journey was definitely very pivotal in shaping the path I’m on today. Growing up, I didn’t have the clearest picture of what I wanted my future to look like, but through AVID, I was able to see that there were many possibilities beyond my circumstances. It really was AVID that gave me that sense of purpose and the tools I needed to navigate at the high school and collegiate level. And so I definitely want to give a huge shout out to my AVID teachers and mentors that really helped me see the bigger picture.

For me, I had the opportunity to build a network of peers and professionals, and it really showed me that hard work and mentorship really could turn dreams into bigger actions.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 2:30 And I see from your experience, as you in getting your sense of purpose and in your sense of purpose, having that bigger picture of life helped inform your why. What is your why and what drives you at that core belief, that purpose that has shaped your career?

Sterling Mark 2:51 Yeah, so for me, my why is rooted in empowerment. As someone who comes from humble beginnings and faced numerous obstacles, I feel very strongly about helping others, especially young people, break through those same barriers. What drives me is really the belief that everyone deserves access to education, mentorship, and the opportunity to achieve their potential. My purpose is to help students and professionals realize their power while equipping them with the tools to navigate challenges, whether that’s through financial literacy, social and emotional learning, or college or career readiness.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 3:33 And we do the social and academic support in AVID as you talked about it, in your AVID journey, as you matriculated through AVID and got to know some of their skill set to see the big picture and plan. How you said, your why is rooted in empowerment, similar to mine. My why in similar words, yet different is: as an educator, I want to help everybody that looks me, everybody that looks very different than me, and everyone in between, to reach their fullest potential. That’s where you talk about access, access to the tools, so that everybody is prepared when they make a choice with the tools they need for their next journey in life because they’ve chosen their passion and identified their why.

So let’s work backwards. What does it mean when you find your why, when looking in a career?

Sterling Mark 4:37 I believe that finding your why, it means in a career, aligning your work with what truly matters to you. For me, it wasn’t just about having a job or making a paycheck, it was about using my skills and experiences to serve a greater purpose. Once you identify what you truly care about, you can design a career that reflects that. And for me, my journey started with realizing that my passion for helping others could be translated into a career of empowering students and professionals. Got it.

And tell me a little bit, Sterling, can your why change over time? Yes, yes, absolutely. Your why can definitely evolve over time. As we grow and experience new things, our passions and our perspectives, they shift. And I’ve seen my why shift from just surviving to thriving and then now to helping others navigate their own path to success. I truly believe that the key is to stay reflective and open to change, and when your why evolves, it’s important to adjust your actions accordingly while staying true to your core values.

So long story short, it’s really all about growth and growth mindset, which you and I know is one of the cornerstones of both AVID and the professionals that work with AVID. When students are with educators that have a growth mindset, that means all students have the possibility to succeed, and we increase that probability for success by preparing them access to all career and college tools.

So Sterling, help me understand, is there a connection between your why and job satisfaction and even further, long-term success? Since we talked about the evolution of your why, we’re also talk about the evolution of my career trajectory.

Sterling Mark 6:49 Yeah. So for me, once you identify your why, it’s really about taking small, intentional steps towards aligning your daily work with that purpose. And so for example, if you’re passionate about mentorship, seeking out roles or projects that allow you to mentor others or integrate mentorship into your current job. If your why is also about creativity, you want to look for opportunities to express that in your work. So aligning your career with your why often starts with making small adjustments, but it can lead to big transformations.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 7:17 And finding your why, as we all know, is popularized by Simon Sinek and How Great Leaders Inspire Action. It’s not easy. So Sterling, how can young professionals start to locate and identify your why?

Sterling Mark 7:38 I think for young professionals, I would recommend taking the time to reflect on what excites you, what challenges you, and what impact you truly want to make. Start thinking about what comes naturally to you and what makes you feel alive. I truly also believe that I suggest that they should journal, speak to mentors, and really just explore different experiences to see what resonates with them most. Discovering your why is truly a journey that’s going to require self-awareness and the willingness to explore. So sometimes they just got to get out of that box.

And so I know it’s hard for some of the youth, but they have to have that willingness to explore and metacognition, and therefore self-exploration. Thinking about what I’m thinking is important for a young career professional, or as we talked even about the evolution of a veteran, and as your why grows and evolves. And I what you’ve said already two or three times, which it needs to start with the self before you can help others. You need to help yourself to find your passion, your drive, your core beliefs, your why, so that you can expand and scale the impact you’re going to have in any profession.

Are there any exercises for self-reflection? You talk one about journaling. You talk two about getting feedback, possibly your mentors. Are there any other techniques you recommend for exploration and landing in my why?

Sterling Mark 9:15 Yes, definitely. One technique that I love to use is the five whys method, and that’s where you just keep asking yourself, “Why,” until you get to the root cause of what drives you. Another powerful exercise is—and this is going to may sound crazy—but to write your own eulogy. Really think about what you want people to say about you and your legacy. This will give you insight into what really matters to you. And I also recommend taking some time to think about the moments when you felt fulfilled and what you were doing in those moments that could really bring about that why, and help you feel more comfortable in making that leap of faith.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 10:03 Sterling, I’m sure a lot of subscribers, including myself as a listener right now, you lost me at writing my own eulogy, but you found me or you said, “What is going to be your legacy?” So when we think about that, that’s a really good way of changing a draft scary for a lot of us, but you change it to legacy. So what is your legacy? And as you journal about that and think about that, you might find your why. I’m not going to let you go because you mentioned these five whys. What are the five whys we referenced?

Sterling Mark 10:38 For me, it is: you figure out, okay, why are you doing what you want to do? And then it’s, okay, why is it that I want to do that? Why is this impacting me, or why does this make me feel the way that I feel? And why do I feel so it’s just a series of questions. There’s actually worksheets online that I could share, but it’s just a series of really just getting to that root cause. Because once you get to that root cause, you may identify something even bigger that you didn’t know was inside of you. So it’s just really digging deep into your inner personal self to discover some things about yourself, on why you do the things you do, and why you feel the way you feel. So it’s a very great exercise.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 11:37 Love it, because you’re talking about the curiosity when we had as a child, just as we started the podcast today. It’s a funnel, right? It starts with the big general why, or in AVID we call it an essential question. And you keep on narrowing until you’re stuck, which means, what’s my point of confusion? When you solve your point of confusion in your self-discovery as to what your passion, your core values, your why, then that’s what you’re trying to get out by keeping asking very different, layered whys down.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 12:03 Now Sterling, what are some influences your why in addition to your self-reflection? I mean, can career, can family? What else can affect how you shape your why, and are you glued and locked down to it, or can you be a trailblazer and move forward and shape a different why?

Sterling Mark 12:26 Well, I feel external factors really definitely play a role, especially early in our career. So family expectations, societal pressures, financial stability are all valid concerns. However, balancing these with personal fulfillment requires intentionality. And for me, I encourage people to set boundaries and prioritize what truly matters to them, even while being mindful of their external responsibilities. So you don’t have to choose between the two. Finding the balance means making the choices that allow you to live authentically while meeting those needs.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 13:21 I the word to use intentionality, especially when I’m in career and I’m trying to actualize and live my why and trying to find that balance, sometimes you’re going to have to say no to some things, and sometimes, in a positive way, you’re going to do more. What advice do you have for especially those early career professionals who find conflict in where they are day-to-day that amounts to most of my time at work is in conflict with my why? What advice do you have for those career professionals?

Sterling Mark 14:00 Well, I say, first, recognize that feeling stuck is a sign that something needs to change. If your current job doesn’t align with your purpose, start by identifying the gaps. Truly, ask yourself, what do you need more of, whether it’s autonomy, creativity, or making an impact? Then you would need to take small steps to realign your work with your why, even if that means starting a side project or pursuing new opportunities. But you really just can’t be afraid to pivot, and it’s never too late to course correct. You just have to have that understanding.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 14:26 And that understanding, as you know, and you’ve talked to me about it, can prevent things from workplace burnout, and we can avoid that lack of motivation. We’re always going to have some bad days, but you want to spend where you spend most of your waking hours during your work week, if you have a normal Monday through Friday job. Our waking hours are spent at our job.

So going back to your what you said is, find your why. Make sure you have that motivation. And if you’re stuck, it’s time to reflect and start to think, what’s my runway? What’s my off ramp so that I can back into the expressway of life and have that work-life balance. That’s what I want to lead your next question: How does finding your why and having that why at work help with your personal life and establishing a work-life balance?

Sterling Mark 15:23 I believe that understanding your why provides you with a source of intrinsic motivation that can really help you push through the tough days. It reminds you of the bigger picture and why your work really matters. When you feel connected to your why, it’s so much easier to stay motivated and avoid burnout because you’re doing something that feels meaningful even when the tasks get tough, right? So it’s just something that I truly believe that if you are on your path, your why path, it just keeps you, keeps you motivated and inspired to know that you have a vision for who it is you’re becoming and the impact that you’re making, and you see yourself building that legacy that you foresee.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 16:15 And you’re not alone because you talked about your use of mentors. So can you share an example or a story of how professionals and mentors help find, rethink, revise, and shape your why?

Sterling Mark 16:31 Definitely. I’ve had several mentors who have helped me shape my why. One example is a mentor who always reminded me of the importance of using my voice to advocate for others. She lived her why through her work with marginalized communities, and seeing her passion in action really inspired me to do the same. It’s really powerful to see someone living in alignment with their purpose, and it’s really contagious, and it gives you permission to do the same.

So I just truly believe that mentors can really shape you, but not just that, you can also learn from their previous experiences and failures, and that’s one of the things that I share with my mentees, and I share with them all my failures so that they don’t have to make those same mistakes.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 17:23 Earlier, you should give a shout out to AVID teachers. I didn’t miss what you just said. I’m going to give a shout out to you. You said, “I have mentors, but I’m giving back.” I am a mentee, and I the way you talk about you leverage your why, because it shapes your beliefs and thoughts, and then it then drives your actions. Really good connection, Sterling. As we’re looking to the end of the podcast, what’s the biggest advice you have for someone early in their career, still searching for purpose or why?

Sterling Mark 17:57 My biggest piece of advice will be to be patient, but stay curious. Your why doesn’t always show up overnight, and that’s okay, take time to explore different paths. Be sure to ask questions and reflect on what brings you joy and fulfillment. Don’t be pressured to have it all figured out right away. Your purpose will unfold as you continue to grow. So just understand that success is not a destination. It’s a journey.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 18:29 Wow, be patient. Now I am one of the most impatient people you can find, but I what you just said. It’s going to take some time, and it might even come quicker than you know it, but you still got to put in the work. You’ve talked and gave us advice about reflection, self-reflection, connecting with others, having some resources, asking that five-level why, to make sure that we get to what is our why that drives our actions, beliefs in our careers and also in our home. I also what you said about finding your joy and you’re leaving us with being with inquiry in a previous podcast. Stay curious, because that’s your edge, and that’s what you told us, lead with inquiry and stay curious.

Sterling, I really want to thank you for sharing advice and learnings on self-reflection, how it connects to our why, our core beliefs, causes and purpose that will bring us joy, not just in our career, but in college. I’d love to end with Simon Sinek, what we talked about earlier: working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called your whole conversation, Sterling, today, and your advice was about finding your why, finding your joy. In other words, what are you passionate about? Let that come through in your daily actions, at home, as a mentor, with your mentors, or as a mentee, and in your career.

And if you feel stuck, you’re not alone. Go back to your tools, reflect. You can later connect until what you’re going to do the day, in fact, for real, and your ongoing legacy you’re going to leave. Finding your why isn’t just about having a job. It’s about building a career that energizes you and sometimes drains you because you’ve given your all. It may take time, as Sterling has talked about, reflection on even trial and error. You’re going to make mistakes, but when you align your work with your purpose, you’re just not clocking in your time card. You’re creating impact, fulfillment, longevity, career, eating a legacy. So take your time to explore. Be curious as Sterling, ask yourself tough questions, and don’t be afraid. It changes along the way. Your why is out there. Go find it.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 21:13 That’s our time today for Avidly Adulting subscribers. Be good today, but together, let’s try for a great tomorrow.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 21:27 Avidly Adulting is powered by our AVID alumni and is brought to you by AVID. To learn more about AVID, visit our website at avid.org.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 21:39 If you are an AVID alumni, join our network at avid.org/alumni.

Dr. Aliber Lozano 21:46 Thanks for listening to Avidly Adulting. Join us the first and third Mondays of every month as we feature guests and topics to help you navigate your first career with laughter, insights, and life lessons, because adulting isn’t just a job, it’s an adventure.